Mr. Cliff and Friends Go to Sri Lanka, Part 1

When I came to India, there were three countries that I for sure wanted to visit while I was here. UAE, which you’ve read about my adventures in with Chris and Casey, Nepal, where I visited when Emily was here, and Sri Lanka. Well, since Chris and Casey have abandoned me and gone back to the United States, and we didn’t have time to make the trip when Emily was here, I had to find some new travel partners if I was going to complete the trifecta. Enter Andrea and Alan. Andrea is more or less Chris’s replacement here at Target India, and Alan is the trophy husband that gets to tag along.



Andrea and Alan enjoying their coconut milk. Don't they look excited to be traveling with me?

They are relatively new expats to Bangalore, having arrived a little over a month ago about the time that Chris and Casey left. It was probably about the third time I had met them before I had already talked them into coming to Sri Lanka with me. It’s unclear whether or not they knew what they were getting themselves into by agreeing to travel with me, but once they told me they would go (whether they were being serious or not) I didn’t let them off the hook. Most of my other expat friends were traveling elsewhere the weekend we decided to go, so it was just us three on a lovely adventure together!

Since work was hectic and I didn’t really want to expend the time and energy to plan and book the trip myself, I used a travel agent for the first time. It was amazing. We got a referral from another expat who had used this company, and all we did was send an email saying “We want to go to Sri Lanka from May 16^th-20^th, and we would like a combination of historical sightseeing, safari/rainforest type stuff, and beaches.” That’s all we said, and they had an awesome trip planned and booked for us a day or two later. So easy. I also received a new nickname from our travel agent. Since I made the initial contact with her, she always addressed emails to me, and the greeting of the emails was, without fail, “Mr. Cliff and Friends”. It’s quite common to be called “Mr. First Name” in India, but our travel agent Mary used it every time. Andrea thought it was so hilarious that she will only refer to me as Mr. Cliff now.

Here is my day by day rundown of our trip, and I’ll try to keep it somewhat brief, although I’m pretty sure we all know that’s not going to happen.

Wednesday

I’ll just briefly touch on Wednesday since nothing of note happened. The flight from B’lore to Colombo, Sri Lanka was only about an hour and a half. The airport in Colombo was nicer than I was expecting, as I had visions of the Nepal airport in my head. It was interesting that they had a store with large appliances in the duty free section. Who doesn’t want to buy a washer and dryer when they get off the plane? We were met by our guide, Hermal, holding a sign that said "Welcome to Sri Lanka, Mr. Clifford Olander x 3". So Andrea and Alan had been downgraded from “and friends” to x3. It was a short drive to Negombo, which was the fishing village/resort town where we were staying for the night. We took a short walk on the beach under the stars, and I'm sure it would have been very romantic for the other two if I hadn't been along to kill the mood.

 

View from our hotel balcony on Thursday morning. Very nice! (In Borat voice. That's still cool, right?)



I’ll also point out a small fun fact about Wednesday in southwest Asia. Many people pronounce it phonetically, as in “Wed-nes-day”, where we pronounce it “Wins-day”. That one still cracks me up every time I hear it.

Thursday

We woke up to a beautiful view from our hotel room on Thursday. This was the first time I had been this close to an ocean since I lived in Hawaii, and I forgot how much I missed it. One smell of the salty ocean air brought a lot of memories flooding back. Breakfast at the hotel came with amazing views, but my favorite part was the guard standing between the open air restaurant and the beach/ocean whose job it was to keep birds away. His weapon? Slingshot, duh. It was awesome. I suppose there are worse jobs than standing on the beach shooting birds with a slingshot. I’m not sure they needed to be dressed in full police-type gear though. I guess that way the birds knew he meant business.

Note his perfect slingshot technique. Right leg forward, knees slightly bent and in an athletic position. A true pro. Those birds don't stand a chance.

We had to hit the road early, since Hermal said it would take 6-7 hours to get to Sinharaja Rain Forest, where we would spend the next day hiking. It was a little confusing, because it was only about 140 km (89 miles) away, and it usually doesn’t take 7 hours to go 90 miles. We soon figured out why. The roads, while mostly in better condition than India, were just as crazy. There’s not much honking, which was nice, but you did get the feeling about every 5 minutes that you were going to die in a fiery head-on car crash. Hermal was fearless on the road with his passing. Blind uphill curve ahead? Sure, those are good passing conditions. It’s still amazing to me how there aren’t more car accidents here. But I guess if everyone knows what to expect, it works out for them. Still, even though I’ve gotten used to it a little bit, you can never completely get used to being inches from an unnecessary death a few times a day. We were either driving through villages the entire way, never going much over 40 mph, or we were on winding switchback roads, averaging 30 mph the whole way. We’d probably still be driving if Hermal wouldn’t have driven like a maniac.

Workers on a tea plantation.

 The scenery was beautiful though. The part of the country we were in was very tropical. Everything was green and lush. We constantly passed rubber tree plantations (I got to learn how rubber is made), rice paddies, and tea plantations in rolling hills. The stark beauty of the countryside made the drive go by very quickly. Once we got up into the mountains a little bit, the roads got progressively worse. Some of the roads were definitely made for only one car, as there were times when our van would be two inches from brushing the side of the mountain on one side and two inches from plummeting to our death off the side of the road on the other side. It didn’t make it much easier that we were in gigantic 10 passenger van that needed to maneuver several hair pin turns with a three point turn.

View from the grounds of the Rainforest Edge Lodge.

The final climb to the Rainforest Edge Lodge was the craziest. It probably shouldn’t be attempted in anything but a jeep or a tuk tuk, as even Hermal was pretty leery and nervous about making it in the van. I thought it was kind of fun from my days of traveling Engineer Pass in the Colorado Rockies, but it’s definitely something you’d see on IRT: Deadliest Roads on the History Channel. Luckily we didn’t meet anyone else on the final stretch of road, because it turns out we were the ONLY people staying at the “hotel” we were in. I put quotes around hotel, because it definitely wasn’t a hotel. It was more of a lodge, but not really a lodge either. There were a couple of different buildings that housed maybe 10 rooms, all with a definite “close to nature” theme, which was awesome. Nothing fancy, but very local and really cool. Our bathroom was open air, which I thought was awesome. 

Our Rainforest Edge lodge room. Notice my baby bear bed in the corner.



The hotel "restaurant".



View of the spring fed pool.

The grounds were beautiful and offered breathtaking views of the rainforest and mountains, as well as tea plantations right outside our window and gorgeous local flora and fauna. (I really just wanted to use the words flora and fauna, couldn’t help myself). The pool was awesome, and was fed by natural spring water. We enjoyed that for awhile before dinner.



View of the rainforest sunset from our patio. One of my favorite pictures I've taken since I've been here.



Same pictures, different times. I couldn't really decide which one I liked best, so I posted all three.

Since we were the only people at the place, we were treated with amazing service. Since there’s no way you’re making it back down the mountain by yourself to find anywhere else to eat, they know they are going to have to feed you. They asked us what time we’d like dinner, and if rice and curry was ok. Since they probably don’t make anything else there, it would have to do. When they brought out the food, I was shocked. Apparently the “rice and curry” meant two gigantic platters of delicious red and white rice, and no less than 8 huge dishes of different curries and salads. I’ll have to say, I’m not the biggest fan of curry, but this meal was delicious. Three plates full delicious. I was stuffed to the brim when I finally threw in the towel. Which is something I would soon regret. There was easily enough food for 8 people. We assumed the staff did that on purpose, as I’m sure their dinner consisted of whatever we didn’t eat.

Ginormous meal that will be making a reappearance (literally) in my next blog post.

We went to bed with full bellies and excited for the next day, when we would be hiking through the only rainforest on the planet that is designated a UNESCO World Heritage site.

I’ll continue with the rest of the trip on another post, which will include the end of a 6 year streak of mine.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

I loved the TV show “Cheers” growing up. I remember watching it with my family as a kid, and I still watch it whenever I run across an episode while channel surfing. I’ve even made a pilgrimage to the original Cheers bar while in Boston. If you think about it, it’s amazing that a sitcom was as successful as it was when probably 90% of it was shot in one place, and that place being a small-ish dingy basement bar.



We would make an awesome Indian version of Cheers!

Digging a little deeper, I think the reason it was so successful is because as hard working Americans (or hard working Indians, as it is) we can relate to it. After a hard day’s work, sometimes all you want to do is be with friends in a familiar place, and possibly have a cold beer in a frosty mug. It could be argued that it’s all part of the American Dream; to be able to congregate with a bunch of other blue collar Americans and talk about family, the football game last weekend, or how much their boss is pissing them off. We all have a Cliff Clavin or a Norm in our lives. We’ve all had a relationship like Sam and Dianne. We all know a no-nonsense fireball like Carla, or an innocent dim witted Woody, or an intellectual know it all like Frasier.  Even if it’s not feasible to go to the bar every night after work, or even every week, you could still sit in your recliner and unwind with the cast of Cheers and feel like you were there.

Luckily, I’ve found my own little “Cheers” here in Bangalore. It just happens to come in a slightly different form; a Pizzeria/Karaoke bar we’ve affectionately termed Romano’s (actual name is Pizzeria Romano). If you don’t know what you’re looking for on the crowded streets of Koramangala (a neighborhood in Bangalore) you’ll likely drive right past it 3 or 4 times before you see it. It’s not big and it’s not fancy, but it is a vital cog in the wheel of maintaining my sanity. 



Romano's! Not much to look at from the outside.

I like India most of the time, and I enjoy my job (also most of the time). But the issues you deal with here on a daily basis are far different than what you’re used to. By the end of the week, after dealing with workers urinating on floors, trying to communicate with people when you don’t understand each other’s language, and/or sitting in the middle seat on an airplane between two guys who have never heard of the word deodorant, the term “I need a beer” has never rung truer. I think all of my fellow expats would agree, as we all have similar problems to deal with. Luckily, we found a common solution.

Chris, Casey, and Dawn collaborating on "Barbie Girl". Fortunately Casey can't untag herself in my blog photos. :) 

The staff at Romano’s knows us very well. Their faces light up when we walk in on a Friday evening, because they know that they are going to do good business that night. I would guess that on an average Friday night when we are there, we are 40-50% of their business. Sometimes, it’s just us and a few other people. Sometimes the place is nearly full. But I doubt anyone holds the esteem with the staff that we do (I also doubt anyone spends as much money as we do).

But Romano’s wasn’t chosen for our hang out spot because of the food or the drink specials. We go for the music. We go for Dawn and Reuben, and maybe even to live out our own childhood (or college....or current) fantasies of being in a band.



Proof that I am now an international superstar.

Chris and Casey (expat friends whom I went to Dubai with) discovered Dawn by accident while having brunch at one of Bangalore’s nicer restaurants. She was there singing with her dad. Running into her outside, Chris asked where else she performed, and she informed him that she sings and runs karaoke at Romano’s on Friday and Saturday nights. Since it was very close to their apartment, they decided to check the place out.  The rest is history.

It’s hard to describe just how good Dawn is without hearing her for yourself. Her voice is strong in all registers, but always under control.  She can sing with power or tone it down for lighter or more intimate songs. There is also a tiny rasp to it that she uses at just the right times, and puts true emotion into every song she sings. To put it mildly, she has an incredible voice. She can sing anything from Adele to The Beatles to Justin Bieber to Alanis Morissette to Lady Antebellum to Prince, and make you completely forget about the original version of the song. If she were on American Idol or The Voice, I would bet my life savings that she would go very far and be a factor towards the end, if not win it all.


Reuben, Dawn, and Chris rocking Purple Rain. Never really liked the song until I heard these guys sing it.

If any music execs read my blog, you would be wise to jump on the next plane to Bangalore and head to Romano’s this Friday. She is an India native (although she has no noticeable accent), so she would come with 1.2 billion pre-packaged fans. You can give me my finder’s fee later.  All of this is capped off by the fact that she’s pretty easy on the eyes. Dawn is usually joined by a member of her very musical family playing guitar, or Reuben on the drums singing back-up. Plus, I’m happy to be able to call them friends. We are there early every time to make sure we get the front tables.

And then there’s the rest of the music. That would be us. It is, after all, a karaoke night! Dawn and Reuben are just in charge, and sing when no one else does. That being said, I’m sure everyone would prefer to listen to Dawn the entire evening. But after they coax the first one of us up on stage, it tends to open the flood gates. By that time, Chris has had a few gin and tonics, Casey is halfway through her bottle of champagne, I’ve downed a couple of Kingfishers, and the others around the table have done the same. We’ve forgotten all of our troubles by that point, so why not embarrass ourselves?! They even leave the guitar up at the front so you can play your own song if you’d like. So I’ve taken advantage of that a time or two…to mixed reviews. (Hootie and the Blowfish is not a local favorite)


Not sure what this gem is we were singing, but I'm sure it sounded pretty.

Most of the time I’m sure we sound (and look) ridiculous, especially to the more reserved Indian clientele. But we usually find at least 6-8 people to join us, so we kind of just take over the bar.  Casey usually belts out “Proud Mary” at the top of her lungs with Dawn's brother Michael, and sometimes she graces us with a lovely rendition of “My Humps”. Chris and Dawn have been known to do an awesome “Purple Rain” duet (check out the youtube link below). And then there are the group songs we do that tend to induce high kicks from me, and some other sweet dance moves from the others. Casey’s fiancé and I even did a heartfelt duet of the classic love song “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias. Of course then we had to explain ourselves afterwards because I actually knew how to play it on the guitar (long story) and Brandon knew all the words. And then I usually do my version of “Every Rose Has It’s Thorn”. I even got to sing a Bryan Adams duet with a random Indian woman a few weeks ago! (I’ll never quite understand the obsession this country has with Bryan Adams, but it is borderline ridiculous).

Chris and Dawn Rocking out on Purple Rain- Chris's Emotional Last Performance

All in all, we have a good time. We’ve made a lot of new friends and supported the local economy. Some of my fondest (and fuzziest) memories of my time here will probably be from Romano’s. And judging by the tears Casey had on her last Romano’s night before she left, and Chris’s emotional last duet with Dawn, it probably means that it will be an emotional end for me as well in a couple of months. But that’s a good thing. It means that there’s something in your life that makes you happy enough that you’re upset when you have to leave it. When you think about it, isn’t that the point of life? To continuously strive to find those things that you don’t want to live without? We're all on a continuous pursuit of happiness, my friends.

I know for a fact that I’ll never get to share another night at Romano’s with Chris and Casey, since they have both moved back to the US. But I can also tell you that I will never forget those nights for as long as I live, and I wouldn’t trade the memories for anything. And as life goes, as one door closes (in this case being the door to Romano’s), I’m sure another will open.



I'm really glad that I packed a flowered pearl snap.

So if you see pictures of me on Facebook with a microphone in hand with my tongue out, or doing some sort of crazy high kick on the dance floor, don’t judge. It’s all part of the necessary therapy needed to keep myself sane in a land of craziness.



Piano Man is and will always be the perfect end to any night anywhere in the world.

That’s one of the great things about karaoke night. I’m 8000 miles away from home in a culture that couldn’t be more different than my own. But at the end of the night you’re arm in arm with co-workers and random Indian people belting out Piano Man at the top of your lungs. Everyone can relate to that. Everyone has their problems throughout the week. Maybe some of the Indians in the room have had to deal with jackass Americans all week (and just maybe that American was me). But we all have our own places to go, and our own ways to deal. At the end of the day, we’re all human.

And after all, sometimes you want to go where everybody know your name. And they’re always glad you came. You want to go where people see; our troubles are all the same. You want to go where everybody knows your name. Do do do do do do. Do.