Back to Bangalore

After a whirlwind 5 days of traveling that saw me touchdown in 5 different countries and eat more meals on airplanes than I did off of airplanes  (a feat I hope I never replicate), I finally arrived in Bangalore around noon on Thursday. As I exited the airport and searched amongst the dozens of welcome sign toting drivers clad in white linen uniforms for the sign that said “Welcome Mr. Clifford Olander”, I couldn’t help but smile. It’s chaos to be sure, but familiar chaos.



I may have kept the sign....



Anyone who’s ever flown to Bangalore can attest. There are cab drivers yelling at you attempting to lure you to use their service, the million smells of the country hit you all at once, there’s the sweltering heat, there are people trying to grab your bags hoping for a tip if you allow them to assist, amongst other craziness. These things that might have overwhelmed me during my first tenure just made me smile this time around. It almost felt like India’s way of saying, “Welcome back, Mr. Cliff!”  Again, it was chaos, but a familiar chaos that automatically triggered my India survival mode that I had previously worked 8 months to build.

Finally I spot an eager young gentleman, with a moustache that would make Tom Selleck jealous, holding the sign I was looking for. I give him a smile and a head nod indicated that yes, the one white dude that got off the plane was the white dude he was looking for. 

Tom Selleck's got nothing on Mahesh's killer stache. Although Magnum P.I. didn't have to drive a mini van.

Side note: My old roommate and good friend Ryan Nintzel and I used to play a little game called: “You know you’ve made it in life if…..” and then you fill in the blank. One of his favorites was, “You know you’ve made it in life when you get picked up at the airport by someone you don’t know holding a sign with your name on it.” I definitely wouldn’t say I have it made in life, but it is a good feeling.

The drive from the airport was just as I remembered it; long, slow, and tedious. But it did give me some time to learn about my new driver, Mahesh. Mahesh is actually three years younger than me, which made me feel a little bit old. He was born on Friday the 13^th, which is very bad luck indeed, especially for Indians. Very inauspicious. He enjoys cricket and tennis, even though he’s never actually played tennis, and his favorite player is Rafael Nadal. His favorite thing to do is ride his motorcycle, which was given to him by a previous boss. He also won points with me when he asked me how often I worked out. I said I try to a few times a week. He said, “You are looking very buff. Like Hollywood hero. You remind me very much like Brad Pitt. Do you know Brad Pitt, sir?” I just had to laugh.  A ploy to get on my good side, I’m sure, but it was appreciated nonetheless. And then he talked about how much he liked Brad Pitt. It could have been much worse, because Indians love Tom Cruise. I probably wouldn’t have taken that as well as I took the Brad Pitt comparison.



According to Mahesh, Brad Pitt is my new Doppleganger. Yeah, that's right. I'll own that. Look, we even both like to stick out our tongues and make weird faces at the camera. I'm sure he wears silly hats, too.

After an hour drive or so, we arrived at my new old home, The Oakwood. The guy at the front desk remembered who I was!  I got settled, took a quick snooze, and ordered my old room service faithful, Thai Style Fried Chicken with Jalapeno Cheese Bites. The guy who delivered it also remembered who I was when I opened the door and said, “Welcome back Mr. Olander, we haven’t seen you in long time. I thought it must be you when I saw the order.” He had once given me a hard time for ordering the same thing all the time, begging me to try his favorite food, which is the biryani. But I remembered Raju as one of my favorite employees, so he got a 100 rupee tip. It’s good to feel remembered!

I called it an early night, as I had to wake up plenty early (again) to leave the next morning. And as my head hit the same familiar pillow and the same familiar bed, digesting the same familiar food, I couldn’t help but smile again. Between the airport, the traffic, the hotel, the food, and everything in between, it almost felt as though I had never left. The life I had been living the last 9 months in the US felt a million miles away......or 8000 to be exact.

Up next is a very new experience with some old friends. A wildlife safari at one of India's national parks known for Tigers! I'll give you one picture as a teaser.

Glutton for Punishment

I always had a feeling the day would come where I'd have to make a difficult decision. So when my boss pulled me into a room in early February and said, “No promises either way, but it looks like we may need you in India again if you’d be willing to go,” I can’t say that I was surprised.  I had replayed the scenario countless times in my head, waffling back and forth on what my answer would be. I surprised even myself when my first reaction was to chuckle and say, “I think I might be able to do that,” without the words “no thanks” ever entering my mind.

Sure, there are certain circumstances that would have led me to say no. If it would have been asked of me closer to my return from my first foray on the Indian subcontinent, my answer might have resembled something closer to “Oh hell no.” Needless to say I was ready to come home at the end of my first trip, for a multitude of reasons. But as time passed after my return, I found myself remembering the good times and the positives of my time in India more prominently than the torturous times and the negatives. I think that’s a good thing, because that’s how I want to remember it, as one of the best and most formative experiences of my first 29 years on planet Earth.

Still, there were circumstances where I probably would have said no. I may not have been able to be convinced if it was going to be another 8 months or longer. But when I was told that it looked like a three month or less assignment, that sealed the deal. (Yes, I remember distinctly remember how easily timelines can be mysteriously stretched in India, but I think I can make this one stick...which hopefully aren’t my famous last words) I could handle a three month adventure, especially now that I know what to expect. I told my boss that I plan on spending my 30^th birthday in August in Las Vegas, not India, and he promised to have me home by then.

What also made it much easier to say yes is that I still have friends in Bangalore, including my former neighbors and Yahtzee partners Jayme and Andrea, and my Sri Lanka and Hampi travel partners Alan and Andrea. One of my favorite things about living overseas, especially in a trying environment like India, is the tight connections you form with people. Exhibit A: I recently attended the wedding of a Miss Casey Huss (now Mrs. Casey Krebsbach) in Mexico, where a Mr. Chris Gunnon was the officiant (an idea hatched at Romano’s after a few Old Monk & Cokes) and I provided musical entertainment (entertainment is probably a loose term). You may remember those two from previous blog posts such as Playing in the Sand and Where Everybody Know Your Name.  Having friends that you can share your experiences and frustrations with, ones who you can relate to and are going through similar things as you, is vital to an assignment like this. I made lifelong friends during my first stint that I have stayed very close with, and I look forward to continuing those existing relationships and forming new ones.



Casey with her favorite Reverend and and rock star in Mexico.

 The project itself I’m working on also should be less stressful than my previous projects, aided by a bucketful of lessons learned from my previous experiences and a more knowledgeable and strategic approach. Plus I don’t have to try to remodel a building that is filled with working employees, an ambitious endeavor that is never done by anyone there, and something that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

What I’m probably looking forward to the most are the once in a lifetime type trips and adventures that I plan on taking while I’m here. A few weeks ago I was surprised in my cube by Andrea, who happened to be on a trip back to America. After exchanging excited pleasantries and a bear hug, she asked me when I was planning on arriving, and when I told her she said, “Oh good. So the first weekend you’re back we’re going on a Tiger Safari with some other Target expats. You in?” Well duh. Who doesn’t want to go drive around the jungle looking for tigers? So you can be expecting a post on that in the next couple of weeks, hopefully accompanied by some pictures of tigers and other cool animals. I’m not sure what other trips I’ll take this time, but I’ve got a couple potentials in development including a riverboat tour through the rainforests of Borneo and possibly a stop Down Under on the way home, if timing permits.

The last few weeks have been spent hammering out details and preparing myself mentally and logistically for what’s to come. Two weeks before my departure I got a call from my boss who was traveling in Asia at the time. The paraphrased conversation went like this, “Cliff, I’m in Jakarta, and there’s a project here that needs some attention. Could you move your departure date up and stop by Indonesia on your way to India?” Sure, why not?  Of course my passport was in Chicago getting my Indian visa arranged, and I was a little nervous about the transfer of my passport from the Indian consulate to the Indonesian consulate for that visa, and then the return back to Minneapolis in time for my departure. Turns out I shouldn’t have worried, because of course Target employs someone who specializes in making sure this kind of thing gets done. It showed up on time, and I even had a day and a half to spare!

So after my trip from Minneapolis to Chicago to Hong Kong (a 15 hour flight I don’t wish upon anyone) to Jakarta, I’m sitting in my hotel half asleep writing this post that I have been meaning to write for a month.

View of Jakarta from my hotel room. More impressive than I expected.



Tomorrow I’ll arrive in Bangalore for the part 2 of my India adventures. I am fully aware of what I’m in for. I remember vividly the punishment that India delves out on a regular basis. The physical, mental, and emotional toll that the country takes on you is still seared into my memory. There will be times that I will be scared to be more than 10 feet from a toilet. There will be times where 10 smells will hit me at once, none of them good, all of them threatening to make me lose my curry. There will be times where I will be so frustrated I will scream, whether it be from the ass backward way things run there, or from the lack of personal space, or thousands of other possible irritants. There will be times where my choices of food are the green goopy stuff or the orange lumpy stuff. I will come back with less hair, and what’s left will be populated with more strands of gray. Maybe that makes me a glutton for punishment.

However, as I’ve learned the last few months, all of those negatives will merely become an afterthought and just part of the experience. This time I’m armed with a more positive attitude and determination to not only survive, but to thrive in this chaotic environment. And after this journey, what I’ll be left with are great friendships, good pictures, and incredible experiences that few are lucky enough to have in their lifetime. I’ll take that trade-off.

Bring it on India. I’m ready for you.