Playing in the Sand

Everyone grab your travel bucket list. Got it? Good. Now rip it up and throw it in the trash.

Now grab a new sheet of paper and put these words on the top line;  “Visit Dubai and Abu Dhabi”. Then fill in your list from there.  While you’re at it, go ahead and throw India in at around 85 or so. (Just kidding. Kind of.)

That may be a little dramatic, but after visiting the United Arab Emirates with my friends and fellow Target Expats Chris and Casey this weekend, I am in love with the place and highly recommend a visit. Especially if you are in the construction or architecture industry or just plain like cool buildings, it’s a must see. The city is clean, not crowded, and is actually ahead of the curve on infrastructure.  Apart from the Burj Khalifa in Dubai, which is the tallest building in the world, there are countless other massive yet awesome buildings in both cities. You could take any one of probably 20 buildings, put it in any US city, and it would be a signature landmark. Maybe I’ll do another post just on the buildings. For now I’ll just give a (probably not so concise, but with a lot of pictures) summary of our trip.

Me and the Burj. It's tough to get a feeling for just how massive this building is.

Friday

After finally waking up Casey and hearing about how her room was haunted by a ghost, we caught a quick breakfast (which included beef bacon, as pork isn’t eaten by Muslims) and headed out for the day. We didn’t have any plans until 3:00 that afternoon, so we just decided to go downtown and look around. We ended up by the Burj and walked around it for a while, as well as the world famous Dubai mall. (I say that tongue in cheek, as the cab drivers describe everything they point out as either world famous or very famous.) Since Chris and I didn’t bring sunglasses, we made a stop at the sunglass store, as we didn’t want to brave the desert sun without them. This also gives me the chance to explain to you that Casey takes a billion pictures, and talks you into posing for anything and everything with anyone. It’s easier to give in rather than argue.



Exhibit A: Taking picture with the sunglasses sales lady.



After walking around the mall a bit more, we decided to go to what we thought was a 7 star hotel shaped like a sail boat. Turns out we got the name wrong, but our wrong name still led us to a hotel that was out on one of the man made islands shaped like a palm tree. As we later learned, the hotel we thought was a 7 star was actually “only” a 5 star, so I guess our blunder wasn’t too bad.



Sailboat hotel, as stolen from google images.



That afternoon we got picked up for our desert safari. We started the safari by going dune busting, which basically means you pile into a Toyota Land Cruiser fitted with a roll bar and drive up and down sand dunes in the middle of a real desert. It was a blast! There was a few times where I thought we might topple over, but we were able to avoid that. The car in front of us had some problems though. One of the passengers got car sick, so they had to stop suddenly so she could get out and womit. (Most Indian people say their W’s like V’s and vice versa. Some words are freaking hilarious. My favorite is when they say Vomit but it sounds like Womit. Which is how I’ll pronounce it for the rest of my life.) They also got high-centered on the top of a massive dune, and we had to pull them off. If I could do one thing differently (and that I will do when I go back) I would spend the extra $100 for my own dune buggy. That looked amazing.



Preparing to bust some dunes!



After our dune busting, we were driven to a different part of the desert where our guide company had their own private camp set up, with all sorts of fun activities. We had a lovely traditional buffet which we ate sitting on pillows in the sand with our new friend Julio, whom Casey recruited to be her own personal photographer throughout the entire day. (Julio took half of the pictures in this blog...) Chris enjoyed the meal so much that he fell backwards off his pillow into the table behind us!



If you imagine Chris falling backwards into the table behind us, it makes this picture a lot funnier.



We got to dress up in traditional local gear….



The last time I had this outfit on, I believe I was playing a wiseman in the church Christmas program.



Smoke a hookah…

Don't worry mom, it's perfectly legal.

Camel rides….



I didn't ride the camel this time, as I didn't want to spill my $8 Bud Heavy.



Henna tattoos (which only Casey participated in, and I’m glad because Casey’s turned out to look kind of like an unfortunately colored stain), and we saw a belly dancer (which I didn’t get a good picture of).

All in all it was an incredible and memorable day!

Saturday

The day started with waking up to find Casey on the couch again, as the ghost had apparently come back and choked her in the middle of the night. Not having gotten much sleep, she was a little crabby when Chris decided to try to wake her up by dancing with her to the music he was playing. The rest of us were having fun, but Casey wasn’t amused.



Chris felt like dancing, Casey felt like sleeping. Chris won.



We were supposed to be picked up at 9:00 for our day tour of Abu Dhabi, and our driver had called to confirm that the night before. Those of you who know me well, know that I am intolerant of people being late and wasting my time, especially when I am paying someone to perform a service. Therefore, when 9:30 rolled around and we still hadn’t heard from our driver, I was starting to get a little antsy. So we called the company and they ensured us that someone would be there in 15-20 minutes. Of course, our driver finally showed up at 10:30, so I was pretty cantankerous by then.

Luckily the day picked up by then as the drive to Abu Dhabi went pretty quickly. Our first stop was Yas Island, which is a man-made island that houses an impressive Formula One racetrack, as well as Ferrari World, which is an amusement park that is home to the world’s fastest roller coaster. Unfortunately as we didn’t have time to enjoy the park ( it costs something like $100 to even get in) we just were able to look around and visit the gift shop. When I go back, I’m definitely doing the roller coaster.

From there we went to a visitor center that laid out the vision of Abu Dhabi. It really is an impressive city with a great future. Amongst the other impressive buildings, beautiful beaches, and man-made islands, it will also soon be home to its very own Guggenheim Museum, as well as its own Louvre.

From there we visited a local fish market and a date market…

Sharks! They smelled like roses....

And then we were off to the Sheikh Zayed Mosque, which was an incredible experience. It is the third largest mosque in the world, and can hold 40,000+ worshippers. The entire building is a mirror image of itself, and made almost entirely out of marble. The carpet in the main prayer hall is the world’s largest carpet, made on site by 1200-1300 carpet knitters. The carpet weighs 35 tons and took 2 years to complete.

Women have to dress in Burka before they enter, and everyone has to take off their shoes.

The mosque has seven chandeliers that are made entirely of Swarovski crystals. The largest chandelier is the third largest chandelier in the world, and is 33 ft in diameter and 49 ft tall.

After the mosque we drove around and looked at the Royal Palaces, saw the supposed Sex and the City 2 hotel (which it turns out the entire movie was filmed on Morocco.) Apparently the cheapest room is $7k a night.

View of partial Abu Dhabi skyline from across the marina.

Then we went to the “wery famous” Marina Mall, and had probably my favorite meal of the trip. After months without beef, a BK Whopper does wonders for the psyche!

The Burger King was the best meal I had had in a month.

After the mall and another stop at a Heritage village, it was back to Dubai, where we had a tour of the Burj Khalifa (the big ass building). Another great experience as we were taken up to the 124^th floor to the viewing deck. We thought we were going to be able to go closer to the top, but we were only about 2/3 of the way up! After that we ate dinner from a patio where we could watch the water show that rivals the Bellagio. Since they don’t serve alcohol anywhere but hotels within the city, we had to entertain ourselves over Root Beer.

The Burj at night after our tour.

After that it was back to the hotel. Luckily I got to sleep in the master suite, because Casey had been haunted by a ghost the two previous nights, and didn’t want to risk a third night.

Sunday

No time for fun on Sunday. I awoke having not seen or heard or felt or smelled a ghost. (Shocking, right?) Then we were off to the state of the art airport, where we were able to enjoy a lovely McDonalds meal. I was so excited to get one more burger in before we headed back to India, that I actually forgot to order beef and went with chicken instead. Oops.

All in all, it was an amazing weekend, although I left feeling that we had just scratched the surface of what the country has to offer. It was definitely a little depressing getting on the plane back to Bangalore. I will for sure be making a return trip back. It’s amazing what you can do when you find a couple trillion dollars hidden under some sand dunes and are able to build a city from scratch.



Sad faces because we are leaving. (Another brain child of Casey)



What made it even better was the company. After living in the same city and working for the same company for years, I had to move 8000 miles away to meet and become friends with Chris and Casey.  Not sure how many times we sang the Zack Galafanakis hit song, “We’re the Three Best Friends that Anyone Can Have” from The Hangover, but it was a lot.

I’m sure you’ll be reading more about them in my adventures soon. But up next is a vacation to Nepal, as well as the Taj Mahal with visitors from Down Under!

The Daily Grind

I’ve received quite a few questions from people about what my daily routine is like. So here is my attempt to walk you through my typical day. I’m a guy who likes to have a routine, and although it took me a little bit to establish one here, I now have one that I’m pretty comfortable with.

I wake up every day at 6:57 AM to the sound of Travis Tritt singing “It’s A Great Day to Be Alive”. That’s one of my favorite songs of all time, and no matter how crazy things get, that song always puts things into perspective for me. I never get tired of hearing it. The joys of technology (via my iPad) has made it possible for that to be my alarm! I once had a colleague that told me the first time I met with him that, “Every morning when you wake up, you can choose whether you have a good day, or a bad day. It’s your decision. It’s all about your attitude when you wake up,  how you attack the day, and what you make of it.” I’ve never forgotten those words, and I’ve found that Travis Tritt is the catalyst to me having a good day!

Then I turn on the Indian ESPN, which sometimes you can catch a basketball game on, since the time difference is 11.5 hours. Usually it’s some sort of X-games, cheerleading championships, or cross-fit competitions. Why they choose to play these things on Indian ESPN in the morning I will never know. Anyway, by the time I shower, iron my clothes, and get dressed it’s usually around 7:30.

I head down to breakfast, where the restaurant at my apartment has a lovely spread. My typical plate includes watermelon and pineapple, the potato of the day (they make potatoes different every day of the week, my favorite are the classic wedges with bell peppers and the tri-taters that I grew to love from school lunches growing up), some sort of rice or noodles, banana walnut bread or chocolate croissant, and eggs made to order. I usually go with scrambled eggs, depending on who the egg chef is. If it’s the right guy, his scrambled eggs would be the only ones I’ve had who could rival Randall Olander’s special recipe eggs. They are delicious. As soon as I walk through the doors they know what my coffee order is and usually have it waiting for me at my usual table by the time I sit down with my plate. I also catch up on my American News and scores on my iPad during breakfast.

After breakfast I head back up to my room where I have a standing Skype appointment at 8:00 every morning. Apparently I was behind the times before I came here, because I had never used Skype before. It’s amazing. It makes a world of difference when you can actually see the person you’re talking to. Plus I also get to see Dixie. Her full name is Dixie Lou Hu Sanchez, Jr. I’m not really sure how the full name came about, but it stuck! Talk about an adorable little dog!  Anyways, Skype has been a life saver while trying to maintain healthy relationships from India.

Dixie Lou Hu Sanchez, Jr



At 8:30 I head downstairs where my driver, Shyam, is waiting for me. Here’s a little explanation on my timing. The India work day is very different from the American work day. I would much rather get into work at 6:30 or 7:00 and leave at 4:00. It doesn’t work that way here. Leaving at 8:30 means I still beat the morning rush, and can get to work by 9:00. When I get to work at 9:00, I’m one of the first 5% of people in the office. The lights usually aren’t even on yet. The typical Indian work day starts around 9:30 or 10:00, often times later. But of course they also work until 6 or 7:00, sometimes later. I hate those hours. I need to have an evening to unwind a little bit, and need to get decent sleep in order to function.

My job responsibilities here are very much like what my job has been like in the US. It’s a nice mix between on-site work (like what I was doing when I lived in Hawaii and New Jersey) and Project Management, which is what I’ve been doing the last few years. Target has two separate campuses in Bangalore, which are about an hour apart. Both are in business parks that house other international companies such as IBM, Yahoo, Cognizant, etc. The main office building that I am in has 8 floors. Connected to that is another office building of 8 floors, of which Target has the rights to 3 of. We already occupy one floor, and are building out the other two floors. Managing that has been the biggest part of my job thus far. We also will be doing a remodel at our other older building that is on the other side of town. That will start soon.  I’ve also been flying to Delhi (which is in north India) for a different project that I originally had nothing to do with. But it’s not going exactly as planned so I’ve been assisting with that as well.

My lovely workspace.



Personal space isn’t something that is valued, or even really exists in India. Therefore in office buildings, people are pretty packed in by US standards. I share a cube about the size of what I had in MN with another guy, Kiran. Apparently he’s a popular guy, as he always has visitors that often come and make the space even more…um (trying to resist saying loud and smelly. oops just did) ….cramped. I’m pretty used to the office setting here though. It’s a very nice space, not unlike office buildings you’d see in the US. Other than the large statue of the god Ganesha that occupies the entry to the break room. That probably wouldn’t fly in the US. Actually, there would be a better chance of a statue of Ganesha being allowed before a statue of Jesus or Mary would (trying…..to resist….….political………tangent).

Thank Ganesha we have someone guarding the coffee. (pun intended) 



I’ll get into the specifics of my job in another post. The specifics  will take longer to tell than what I’ll have room for here. There will be a lot of fun “technology” pictures and anecdotes in that one, so get excited.

Meal times also vary. Target provides its employees with a free vegetarian lunch every day in the cafeteria. Hopefully I’ll find time to do a post in the future just on the lunches. If anything will make you feel sorry for me about this whole experience, the visuals on that post will be it.  If I eat with my team here, it’s usually about 1:30 before we eat lunch…which is in stark contrast to my usual 11:30 lunch time. If I decide I can’t take the cafeteria food any certain day, the business park has a food court that has a Dominos and KFC. I’ve eaten Dominos and KFC more times in the last three months than I have the entire rest of my life combined.

Since the time difference is nearly exactly 12 hours from the US, conference calls with partners back home usually take place in the evening in Bangalore, which is the morning in the US. So the calls usually start at 6:30 or 7 local time. So three days a week I’m faced with the decision of trying to make it home before the calls start or stick it out at the office until after the conference calls are done. It depends on what I have going on that day, but since it takes me at least an hour to get home after the calls due to traffic, I don’t get home until 8:30 or 9 if I take them from the office. So I usually try to make it home before they start.

So most of the time my work days wind down about 7:30 or 8:00, which make for long days and long weeks. But it’s all part of the Bangalore daily grind. After work I usually head up to the apartment gym to run a few miles and lift some weights in preparation for the Tough Mudder. The Tough Mudder is a 12 mile race that has a different obstacle every half mile or so. Kind of like a Warrior Dash x 4. I signed up for the race with some friends from work before I knew I was coming. The chances of me being home in time to actually participate in the race are slim, but it still provides me motivation to get my butt off the couch to workout, just in case. The combination of that and the food here has me at my lowest weight since high school! So I guess that’s a plus.

I don’t cook here. I actually enjoy cooking and do it quite often back in Minneapolis, but it takes too much time and energy here. If I’m not racing back from work to get on a conference call, it’s late and I don’t feel like starting the 2 hour process of going to the grocery store. It’s not like you can just run to Target and get everything you need in 10 minutes and get out. It takes forever, and the selection at any one store is crap.  Hell, I’d take Little River’s  5 aisle grocery store any day over what I shop at here. You could probably find 80% of what you needed to have an averaged well stocked American kitchen, but you’d have to go to 10 different stores in 10 different parts of the city to get it all. I don’t have the time and the energy for that. I’ve been to the grocery store 4 times in 3 months here. I pile my basket full of all the American foods I can find at the store. Staples include Nature Valley granola bars, Pringles (which I don’t think I had eaten since maybe high school), mini Snickers, and Coke. You have to go to a special store to get meat that you can trust, and a loaf of bread won’t last a week before getting moldy, as there aren’t any preservatives in it. I tried to do the peanut butter and jelly thing for awhile, but my bread kept molding and I’d have to throw half a loaf away. I don't drink the milk because it comes in a box and sits on a non-refrigerated shelf. I don't trust that for some reason.  Sure, I could buy the local ingredients to make the local food. But why would I spend the time and money to learn how to cook a cuisine I don’t really even enjoy that much in the first place?

 What adds to my reluctance to cook is the room service. There is a full menu to order from in my room from the restaurant downstairs and with one quick touch of a button on my room phone and a 10 second conversation, I can have a delicious plate of chicken Pad Thai in my room in usually under 15 minutes. All for 250 rupees (about $5). To me, it’s well worth it to not have to go to the store, worry about the ingredients you’re purchasing, and taking the time to actually cook it.  As Branden Comfort is aware of from his visit, you can also have beer and alcohol delivered directly to your room at any time of the night. Also a plus.



Enjoying room service Kingfisher at 2 AM over a game of caps.



After I secure my room service or granola bar, Pringles, and Snickers minis dinner, I plop down on the couch to watch an hour or two of TV. The great thing about India is that they are typically about a decade behind on popularity of American pop culture. There are 5 channels that play American movies on my cable. 80% of those movies are from the 80’s and 90’s. It’s great! I’m getting caught up on all the movies I missed out on during that period that I wouldn’t look twice at while channel surfing back home. I think I’ve seen every Arnold Schwarzenegger movie ever made now. They love him. Sylvester Stallone too. There was also a very interesting Nicholas Cage movie marathon on last weekend. They also love their kung fu movies, Tom Cruise, and Julia Roberts.  

About that time work in Minneapolis starts ramping up, so I answer a few emails here and there until about 10:00 when I head to bed. The next thing I know, I’m waking up to “I got my rice cooking in the microwave. Got a three day beard I don’t plan to shave. And it’s a goofy thing but I just gotta say, I’m doing alright.”

Indeed. I am doing alright.

Drive a mile in my shoes...

I had actually had traffic as a speaking point in another soon to be published post, but then I realized that there was too much vital material and visuals to have this topic attached to another post. It needed its own.

First, I feel the need to explain to you that I have not, nor will I ever, get behind the wheel of any sort of vehicle as long as I’m here. That would be catastrophic for everyone involved. There is no place in India for “normal” driving. It would be hazardous to your health to follow normal driving rules. There is only one person I know that I think might have a good time driving in India, and that is my co-worker Blake Brosa, who will update his Facebook status while driving bragging how fast he is making the trip. He would fit in well.

 I have a driver, Shyam, who picks me up in the morning and waits at work until it’s time to leave. Basically he takes me anywhere I want to go at any time. It’s nice, not going to lie. I wouldn’t have lasted 3 days in India if I didn’t have a driver. But even with a driver, the experience is that bad that I feel the need to tell you about it.

When I first got here, it easily took that prize as my #1 hated thing about India. I’ve gotten used to it somewhat, but it’s still terrible. Really I don’t even know where to begin. Let’s start with the infrastructure. The way I like to explain it is l could give my 2 year old nephew a piece of paper and a crayon, tell him to scribble for 2 minutes, and what resulted on that piece of paper would be a more coherent system of roads than what Bangalore has. There was absolutely zero city planning done whatsoever. That’s probably the root cause of the whole thing. That and the fact that there is 8 million people trying to get somewhere, all on no more than 4 lane roads.



FML



Next is the variety of “obstacles” found on the road. Notice I didn’t say automobiles, or even modes of transportation. Obstacles. Mopeds transporting families of 4, fruit carts, water buffalo pulling carts, tractors, cows, donkeys, oxen, stray dogs, tuk tuks (auto rickshaws), people, traffic cops (not sure what they actually do except stand in the middle of the road and blow their whistle), just to name a few, are all very prevalent on the streets. That’s just on a normal ride into work. That’s in addition to the hundreds of different kinds of cars, trucks, vans, motorcycles, and other kinds of “normal” modes of transportation. Everything is seen as an obstacle that you have to try to get around as quickly as humanly possible. When everyone is stopped at stoplights, the motorcycles and mopeds are weaving their way through cars, sometimes driving on the sidewalks, to get to the front of the line for when the light turns green. At a long traffic light, there could be a pack of 20 or more two wheeled vehicles that made their way to the very front.

Tuk tuk = Death Trap

Water Buffalo = Obstacle

In Kansas, when you use your vehicle horn, you are more than likely saying hello to someone on the road or standing in their yard. In Minneapolis, if you use your horn, it’s probably because someone just did something that they shouldn’t have done that angered you. In India, you use your horn for everything. Drivers keep one hand on the wheel and the other on the horn. It’s a turn signal, it’s a way to tell someone you’re behind them and to get out of your way, it’s to alert the guy pushing the fruit cart that you’re coming and you’re not going to slow down, it’s a way to alert other people of your presence when you’re driving in the opposite lane. I heard more horn honks my first two days in Bangalore than I have heard the entire rest of my life. The sad thing is I hardly even notice it anymore.

Lights aren’t a given at night on the streets either. It seems that Indian drivers only use their lights when they feel like it. Some will just be driving down the road at night and turn them off willy nilly.  I asked my driver once why he shut off his lights, and he said it was as a courtesy to the other drivers coming the opposite way. So they don’t have lights shining in their eyes. Huh? Isn’t that what low beams are for? Plus, I’m pretty sure the word courtesy doesn’t belong anywhere in a conversation about India traffic.

What are those lines painted on the roads? In America, we know them as lanes. In India, they are more a suggestion to be ignored. Drivers will cram into any space possible, even if it’s detrimental to their overall position. If there is a tiny space on the left side of the road you think you can squeeze into, you honk your way up there, even if you need to turn right in 50 meters. It’s mind boggling. There are more side mirrors knocked off from unnecessary squeezing into spaces than there is during a snow emergency in Minneapolis.

On what level is this a good idea?

I’m not someone who gets sick very often. I haven’t vomited since “the Great 823 Case Race of ’06”. But my first couple of weeks, I felt like I was on the verge of hurling every time I got in the car. It’s constant accelerating and slamming on brakes.  In between speed bumps, it’s a drag race to the next pot hole where they slam on their brakes 10 meters beforehand and slow down just enough to not rip off an axle. The most stressful parts of my day used to be the ride in and the ride home from work.

Forget about taking public transportation. Bangalore is about 20 years behind on that, too. They are finally building a metro system, but only have one small stretch of it completed and it doesn't go anywhere that's beneficial to me. Buses are ridiculous. People pack into every square inch of those things. When you can't pack one more person in, you hang off the back or out the doors. Maybe even sit on the roof. Not joking.


I'll take the next one, thanks.

 Somehow I’ve gotten used to it all. There are still times where it irritates me, but like many other things in India, you learn to live with it. I can even read a book in the car now, which makes the trips go faster. I don’t really notice the constant braking unless we have to lock ‘em up. Apparently Shyam is a little wilder than the average hired driver. I’ve been told that by people who have ridden with me. But if we leave the same place at the same time as someone else, we will beat them to the destination 99% of the time. I don’t know how the drivers can know where they’re going all the time, but mine has never been lost (that I’ve been able to tell)!

I do know this. After my experiences here, I will never ever ever ever ever complain about traffic in the U.S. ever again. Ever.

Christmas in Dixie....In India

Since I just got around to starting my blog not too long ago, I have a back-log of topics to cover from the previous two months. So periodically I will be writing about things that happened a couple of months ago that I deem important to my experience here. Some of them (like this one) may be a little long, because I’m not very good at telling short stories…

One such experience was the Christmas holidays. I arrived in Bangalore on December 11^th, so it really didn’t make sense to come back for the Holidays, as it would probably stunt my adjustment period. So, I stuck it out and spent the first Christmas in my 28 years away from Little River, Kansas. I knew it would suck to not be home during the holidays, but I didn’t know how much it would actually affect me. I had been in the country for 2 weeks, and you can imagine how crazy those two weeks were. It’s physically, mentally, emotionally, and digestively (tee hee) draining moving halfway around the world by yourself.

UB City and my apartment did a good job of trying to set the mood for the season. There were extravagant decorations up, and they blared Christmas Music over the house speakers for several weeks before (and a couple weeks after…) Christmas. For southwest Asia, it was a pretty passable winter wonderland. It definitely looked like Christmas. It even sounded like Christmas. On Christmas Eve, as I was walking around the mall pouting and feeling sorry for myself, one of my favorite Christmas songs ”Christmas in Dixie” by Alabama came on over the loud speakers. That’s when it hit me. It may look and sound like Christmas, but without family and friends and loved ones around, it sure didn’t feel like Christmas. All I could do at the time is sit down on a marble ledge, listen to Alabama sing about snowing in the pines, and tear up thinking about what I was missing out on back home.  There are certain expanses that email, phone calls, and even Skype can’t bridge. I learned the hard way that being away from loved ones on Christmas was one of those.

Luckily things picked up from there. There are two Target Expats that live in my same apartment building with their wives. Jayme and his wife Andrea, and Adam and his wife Lori, have been a life saver. They regularly feel sorry for me and invite me over for dinner or breakfast, or even deliver food right to me! They also let me tag along as the 3^rd or 5^th wheel when they have stuff planned, which is nice. We all went to what we thought was going to be an English speaking Christmas Eve Mass at a nearby church. Of course there was some miscommunication over the phone while confirming this, so the service was actually in Tamil, one of the local languages, which we didn’t understand a word of. It was still a neat experience though. For example, I saw my first life-sized nativity scene that featured a Santa Claus standing by the wise-men. Also, the introduction to one of their Christmas songs, as played by the house band, sounded note for note like a Credence Clearwater Revival song.  There was also a photographer from the Bangalore Times that took a particular liking to the 5 white people (especially the women) that were attending the Tamil mass. Unfortunately, we didn’t make the paper.



Fellow Targeteers Jayme (front right) across from his wife Andrea, and Adam (back right) across from his wife Lori.



Leaving the Church was an emotional experience in and of itself. There were beggars and people with extreme deformities lined up at the entrance of the church grounds, arms stretched out touching your legs asking for rupees or anything else you can give them. It’s a tough sight to see. But as we were waiting for our driver so we could leave, I saw one of the coolest things I have ever seen. We heard a “Ho, Ho, Ho” amongst the hustle and bustle of Christmas Eve Bangalore traffic and turned to see a man dressed in a full Santa costume drive by on the back of a moped. He made an abrupt left turn into the church area and got off beside the throngs of beggars lining the sidewalks. He proceeded to hand out candy to the poor and the children alike from a large sack he carried with him while being mobbed by the masses, the whole time belting out his Christmas greetings. For the second time that day, tears formed in my eyes, this time for a different reason. One of the most heart-warming acts of kindness I’ve ever witnessed.

Getting close.

After the short ride home the five of us sat around drinking hot chocolate and one by one we went around the circle, each of us telling the others about our favorite Christmas traditions, our favorite holiday memories, and re-hashing our favorite gifts of all time. An awesome way to cap off a wonderful evening.

Getting closer.

Christmas morning came and instead of running downstairs to look at my stocking and open presents to the smell of fresh baked bread and a pumpkin pie in the oven like the previous 27 years of my life, I awoke by myself in an apartment with one single Christmas decoration that my mom had insisted I bring with me. But the experiences of the previous night still coursed freshly through my memory, so I was encouraged. Plus, the Arezzos and the Vander Poels had invited me over for Christmas brunch. I spent the morning watching what Christmas specials I could find on Indian cable until the food was ready. I walked into a wonderful and delicious spread of French toast, bacon, fresh fruit, and even mimosas. It was by far the best meal I had experienced at that point in India. After brunch we relaxed and watched the Vikings game that Jayme was able to record on his computer from the night before, and hooked up to the TV. If I didn’t know better, I could have very easily been back in Kansas or Minnesota at that point.

Getting closer….

That night, we were invited to dinner by someone that Andrea and Lori had met while volunteering. She was originally from Colorado, but had met and Indian fellow while in the country on business and ended up marrying him and moving here. This was her first Christmas in India as well, and wanted to show her husband what an American Christmas was like. So we trekked out to their little 20 acre farm outside the city. The grounds were beautiful, as was the house. They even had several horses in stables out back. The house was full of big game that Shashisherican goodies. It was delicious. ot as excited about that one, but it was still American food!) spinach salad, amongst other (the husband) had shot and had stuffed. There was everything from leopards to bears to wild boar, even an elephant trunk and feet. (there was supposedly a story about how each of these animals had attacked or killed someone, so they call him to come take care of them. Otherwise it would be illegal. I doubt the legitimacy of this somewhat.) 

We sat outside around a campfire for a couple hours, eating delicious appetizers and drinking wine. There were probably nearly 30 people there, an interesting mix of Indians, Canadians, maybe even a couple Australians, and Americans. But everyone was extremely friendly, and we were having a great time. Finally, dinner was ready around 10 or 10:30, which isn’t uncommon in India. I was curious to see what dinner would consist of, but I was very pleasantly surprised when they set gigantic plates full of ham, scalloped potatoes, broccoli salad (not as excited about that one, but it was still American food!) spinach salad, and sweet potatoes,  amongst other American goodies. It was delicious. Not to mention the amazing spread of pies, cookies, and other American tasty desserts.

I was feeling pretty refreshed by then. I had just had a nice American meal in a beautiful residence decorated like Christmas, I was surrounded by what felt like old friends (of at least two weeks), and new friends alike, laughing and sharing stories of Christmas past, and hearing others’ adventures in India. Then Martha, who had invited 5 strangers from Minnesota into her home for Christmas, got up to give a speech. (Stealing from Adam and Lori’s blog for accuracy), she said “Thank you to each of you for being here and how wonderful an opportunity it is to "embrace the differences in all gathered" to accept one another in all our glorious, unique differences, representing worlds of people gathered at one table.”

There it was.

It finally felt like Christmas to me. Sure, I may have been half a world away from my comfort zone, and nothing will ever beat Christmases at Hill Top Farm and River View Farm no matter what happens in my life. However, I was sitting in a room with people who were celebrating “American” Christmas for the first time, and whose religious beliefs don’t line up with mine. But aside from religious beliefs, Christmas is about giving to each other. It’s about human beings whose paths may never cross again but for that one night, sitting down and sharing their time and warmth with those across and next to them. It’s about inviting near strangers into your home to show your new family how you celebrate to bridge that gap between cultures and religions. It’s about finding genuine goodness in all of God’s creations.  That’s exactly what I found half a world away.

Amidst the insanity and chaos that India had brought to my life at that point, it had also provided something very special and unexpected. Not something that came in the form of a visit from three ghosts, or sleighbells, or reindeer, or Old St. Nick, but in the form of genuine kindness and humanity. It brought me a renewed sense of Christmas spirit. Hopefully one that I’ll never forget.

MTV Cribs - India

I’ve been asked by lots of people about my living accommodations. Honestly, I wish I had some sort of exciting story about how I live in a Swiss Family Robinson type tree-house, or how I have to fight to keep the monkeys from coming in my windows. Truth is, that’s just not the case. I live in probably the nicest apartment building in Bangalore called The Oakwood Premier Prestige, in the most “westernized” area of the city. The floors are made of marble, the furnishings and appliances are top notch, and I have about 900 sf of space to myself, which is unheard of in India. I even have in-unit laundry, which would put me in .5% that enjoy that luxury. When I bought a bag of laundry detergent and looked on the back to see how much to use, the only directions they had was for doing laundry in a bucket of water.  I have an amazing pool area where I spend much of my weekends, as well as a top of the line workout facility. There is a spa on the 12^th floor, but I have yet to take advantage of their services. I’m not much of a seaweed wrap kind of guy. I won’t divulge how much it costs to live there per month (luckily I’m not paying for it), but I will say that if I were paying that much in Minnesota I would expect to live in Ricky Rubio’s pool house and have Jared Allen feed me grapes while Joe Mauer fans me with a palm leaf.



This is my pool. Very nice! (in a Borat voice)



It's somewhat frustrating, especially being a construction guy, becasue it was poorly constructed. But you get used to that quickly in India, as workmanship is generally very poor. I'm sure there will be a whole nother (there's that word again!) post about just that in the future.

If I am allowed one major complaint about my living situation, it would be the noise. I know this makes me sound like an 80 year old man who bangs on the ceiling with a broomstick, and I’ve been on the receiving end of a noise complaint or two (“Next time I have to come up here it will be with the Denver Police Department” comes to mind…), but man it can be noisy. Mostly because of my new least favorite bar in the world. The Sky Bar. The Sky Bar is an “exclusive” dance club (and I say exclusive because you have to pay a ridiculous cover and can’t get in unless you are accompanied by a female….or so I’ve heard, never been there myself) on the rooftop of the building next to mine that just blasts music until all hours of the night. Actually it’s only until 11:30 because that’s when bars close here. But still, seven nights a week I have to listen to it. If it’s not the Sky Bar, it’s the band in the amphitheater. If that’s my only complaint though, I’d say I’ve got it pretty good.



Stupid Sky Bar. How I loathe thee.



The area I live in is called UB City. It’ a development built by the UB Group, which is a company that owns Kingfisher Beer, Kingfisher Airlines, and has their hands in numerous other things from fertilizer to Formula 1 racing. There is a high end mall in the development that houses stores such as Luis Vuitton, Versace, Rolex, etc. All I know is that I can’t afford anything at any of the stores, except a haircut. I got a haircut for 10 US dollars, and when I told people how much I paid, they thought it was ridiculous. Apparently you can get a haircut for $1 around here….but I think I’ll try to avoid those places.

Right outside one window is an amphitheater that is home to concerts and shows every weekend. Outside my other window (I have a corner unit) is a courtyard that sits in the shadow of the UB Group Headquarters building, and it houses 8-10 restaurants ranging from Indian, Italian, French, Japanese, and Mediterranean cuisines, just to name a few.  And a Subway, in case I want to eat fresh.

I actually feel a little bit guilty about how nice I have it compared to the rest of the country. Driving the streets and looking at the houses and apartment buildings that typical Indian residents live in, it would be appalling to most Americans. But again, it’s just part of life for them. That’s what they’re used to, and they are able to thrive in that environment. Lower class construction laborers typically live in tents or crude shelters erected somewhere near their job-sites. The poverty level is very high you see a lot of sad stuff here. Homeless people in the US live like kings compared to homeless people in India. When I got a visit from my good friend Branden Comfort who was in the country on a school "field trip", he said that for part of his project he had to spend time in a slum in Mumbai that was actually built in a landfill. The people literally lived on a pile of trash. When you see and hear things like that, it can take a lot out of you mentally and emotionally, but it’s a reality that you have to deal with when you spend any amount of time in this country.

The tin shacks are where the workers live on a neighboring job-site. These are considered high quality accomodations for workers in India.

Nothing like ending a blog post on a depressing note! So I'll take this opportunity to ask for suggestions for future posts. Any ideas from my faithful readers (all 3 of you)?

Levis Take Us, Numbers, Dude-you’re on me

Those of you who know me well are used to my sense of humor. You know I’m very sarcastic, and find some things hilarious or clever that others would find corny or weird. I realize that, and I’m fine with it.

Example A: the titles of my first three blog posts. Genesis and Exodus are rather self-explanatory, but in order to create my own Pentateuch (go ahead and look it up, I’ll wait), I had to stretch this title a little bit. Deal with it.

But what it does give us is an opportunity for the first fun facts edition of my blog! Exciting, I know. First of all, to explain the title a little bit:

-          “Levis Take Us” (Leviticus…get it?) refers to buying jeans. If you buy a pair of jeans at the Levis store, the will take them in for free. Tailoring (as long as you can entertain yourself for 20-30 minutes) is free with the purchase of the jeans

-          “Dude you’re on me” (Deuteronomy, duh) – Even though homosexual rights aren’t recognized in India, it is very common to see men walking down the street holding hands or with their arms around one another. I was extremely confused when I saw this until someone explained to me that it’s a sign of friendship.   I’m wondering how I’d react if that happened to me at some point while I’m here. Hopefully I’ll be able to avoid that situation…

India by the numbers

-          Population of India -    1.2+ Billion people. That’s 16% of the entire globe. 3x the population of the United States.

-          Population of Bangalore-   8.5 Million People. That is:

o   A few hundred thousand more than New York City

o   25 times more than the City of Minneapolis

o   3 times more than the Minneapolis/St. Paul Metro Area

o   162 Manhattan, Kansas-es

o   15260 Little River, Kansas-es

o   Despite the immense population, I know of only 2 buildings over 15 stories tall.



Cows grazing on trash.



Other random fun facts and observations:

-          Cows

o   There are about 200 million cows in India.

o   India is the only country to have a Bill of Rights for Cows

o   Cows are sacred in India, and are not to be harmed, and are often dressed up. We put sweaters on dogs, they put fancy hats on cows.

o   I don’t look twice anymore when I see a cow on the side of the road in the middle of the city, or grazing on a pile of trash somewhere. It’s an everyday occurrence.

-          Bathrooms

o   The first bathroom was said to have been invented in India 4500 years ago. Their technology hasn’t advanced since then….

o   Traditionally, Indians view using toilet paper as unsanitary. Beside all toilets, there are hoses that they use to clean themselves using that and their left hands. Therefore, they don’t eat with their left hands. Gross, I know.

-          Food

o   From my own observations, it appears that around 50% of Indians are vegetarian. However, many people that claim to be vegetarian will eat fish, and sometimes chicken.

o   Really, I don’t know how to start describing the food, as I rarely have any idea what exactly I’m eating. Curry with chunks of other stuff is how I best describe it.

o    Each region of India has its own specialties (33 different regional cuisines to be exact), but it is more traditionally broken down into North Indian and South Indian. Even residents of India have trouble explaining the difference between the two.

o   I have yet to have a traditional Indian dessert that I have liked. They use a lot of ginger in their cakes, and it’s tough for me to stomach more than a bite or two. But if someone brings something to work, you’re seen as rude if you don’t accept it. You have to be creative with how you dispose of it. I had what I thought was a donut hole one time, but when i bit into it, it oozed some syrup like substance. I almost lost my curry.

o   Luckily, I’ve found a couple of restaurants (mostly Italian restaurants) that serve a passable beef tenderloin. However, finding beef on the menu at a normal Indian restaurant would be nearly impossible.

o   There is also a Hard Rock Café that I have yet to try, but hear it’s good if you’ve got a craving for a burger.

Think that’s about it for this post. But don’t fret; there will be more Fun Facts posts in the future. Have a question about anything specific? Let me know in the comments!

Namaste

Exodus

After accepting the position, the next natural question was “when am I going?”

The answer, “as soon as possible.”

Oh. So you’re saying I should probably get a passport then. It’s true. I had never been out of the country before. Quit laughing.

I was a little relieved when I found out it would take at least a month and a half to two months to get my passport and employment visa stuff worked out, so at least the “as soon as possible” didn’t mean the next week. But I think that’s when the whole thing started to seem real. I needed to prepare myself to leave my life as I knew it behind for six months.

One fun thing about the two months leading up to my departure was getting to practice a bucket list. Sure, it’s not like a bucket list before you die, but when you know you’re not going to have certain things available to you for 6 months, you want to pack as much in as you can. It was then that I realized how much my life revolves around food and beer. My bucket list pretty much consisted of restaurants I wanted to go to and throwing happy hours/going away parties. Now that I think of it, I can’t think of anything else that was even on my bucket list. If you knew that all of the finer comforts in life would be taken away from you for six months, what would you do?

Another thing I got a kick out of was the different reactions I got when people found out I was moving to India. They ranged from, “are you crazy!?” to “Oh, I’m so jealous” to blank stares to apathy to shock to my favorite coming from my dad “you realize that’s a whole nother country, right?”.   It was fun to see how different people viewed the opportunity. Some were very predictable with their reactions, and some were surprising. (side note: maybe it’s a Kansas thing, I don’t know, but I feel like I use the phrase “a whole nother” a lot. The red squiggly line under it is trying to tell me that “nother”  isn’t a word. Until I right click and say “add to dictionary. Take that, Merriam Webster.) 

Anyways, those two months flew by and before I knew it, it was time to leave. Packing didn’t take much time, as I only got two suitcases and a carry on to take with me. I think my hardest decision there was whether or not I could make room for a pair of cowboy boots (which didn’t make the cut). I did get a pearl snap in the mix, though.

If anything could ease my apprehension at that time, it was for sure sitting in business class on the flights. I always walk by the people sitting in first/business class on my way to coach and automatically label them as smug, rich pricks. Holy cow, people can call me a smug prick all they want, it’s worth it. On my plane from Chicago to Frankfort, Germany, I had my own little pod, completely separated from the person next to me. I had my own 20” TV screen where I could watch my choice of movie or TV show on the way. My seat reclined all the way where I could be completely horizontal if I wanted to, which made sleeping a breeze. The stewardess offered all sorts of neat stuff all the time, and I enjoyed “gourmet” food and wine the entire flight. That’s how flying should be! It made the inter-continental legs of my trip seem much shorter. And before I knew it, the wheels touched down in India.

Here we go……